date of testimony: January 17th 2018
location of testimony: Lansing, Michigan
age at time of first abuse:
I would like to thank you for this opportunity to express the damage that has been caused by Larry Nassar. You have given us all the chance to have a voice and to stand up against the evil that he has inflicted on the gymnastics community.
Larry, I thought about writing this statement for over a month now. I have written and rewritten it in my head. Everything I have come up with doesn’t come close to properly describing the mental turmoil you have caused in my life.
You never insisted on being called doctor.
You were Larry, my doctor, my idol, and, most importantly, my friend, or so I thought. I thought you were helping me, and I have now come to learn that you were just manipulating me, my family, my coaches, and my friends so that you were trusted.
My mom was sitting in the room with me that day when you performed this act. I didn’t think anything of it because I trusted you so much so I didn’t tell her what you had done. Although it hurt and it was uncomfortable, I trusted that you were doing what was best for me.
For 13 years I didn’t think anything different until September 2016. When I heard that there were accusations against you, I could not believe the accusers and defended you to a fault. As more and more accusations came out I was distraught in thinking that you were this monster they described.
It didn’t take me long to realize that you are the monster they described, and all that time you were helping me, you were just manipulating me so you could take advantage of me. I thought you were fixing me, but I have realized you broke me.
I have daughters, daughters that want to be gymnasts. I have struggled with letting them become a part of this sport, a sport they want to become a part of because of my love and joy for it.
I have now become a victim of sexual assault by two trusted people within the gymnastics community. You made me a victim for the second time in my life and for that I cannot forgive you.
I hate that I was a victim once with no action taken against that person, and to know now that I am a victim again has destroyed me. But I am standing tall and fighting against you and everyone involved in letting you continue your reign of terror on this tight knit gymnastics community.
You must pay for what you have done so that changes happen, changes within this community so that my young daughters may never feel the hurt and turmoil you have caused me, my family, my friends, my teammates, and my coaches.
I am currently mourning the loss of my grandfather who was everything to me and at every single one of my gymnastics meets, but instead of giving him and my family all my thoughts, I am sitting here having to think about you and all the damage you have done. I hate that you are taking away from what should be a time filled with grief and remembrance. You don’t deserve my thoughts. He does and they do.
And with that I hope you get as much time in prison as possible. I hope you are never able to walk outside those walls as a free man, but, most importantly, I hope that all of the survivors that you have hurt are able to heal from the damage you have done.
Judge, I want to thank you again for your time and consideration. You have given me a chance to have a voice when I didn’t think I was able to.
THE COURT: Again, I appreciate the thanks. It was never a question in my mind. It’s part of my job to hear from all victims.
You, your voice, the voice of all of these victim survivors will break him. Maybe not now, but eventually as he shrivels in prison. He will die there. I don’t have to read a crystal ball to know that.
The change that you want, you are part of that very important change. All of the victim survivors are causing change that will be a rippling effect. Again, I don’t have a crystal ball but I believe that to be a fact. And I’m not allowed to lie from the bench.
I am so very sorry for your grandfather’s passing, for his loss. The closest person to me in my life was my grandfather and that was in 1975 and I still feel the loss and feel him around me, and I do know that your grandfather is here and hugging you, too.
MS. MOUL: Thank you.
THE COURT: And he and the rest of your family will help you through this, so as you get stronger, defendant will get weaker, and I know everybody has referred to him as Larry, not doctor, but to me he’s a defendant like all the other criminals, someone without a name who’s done so wrong he doesn’t deserve to be called by his first name or by his former title. I hate even using his last name now after hearing from all of you. He is defendant to me, and at some point I hope that he becomes simply defendant to you, part of your past and part of your armor for the future, because you certainly are strong.
MS. MOUL: Thank you.
THE COURT: And I know your husband is proud of you, your family is proud of you, and your children. You are the best role model, all of the victim survivors are, and so now you all will be that army to go forward with your message. He’ll be behind bars, but he’s not the only pedophile.
MS. MOUL: Absolutely.
THE COURT: Your voice will be heard.
MS. MOUL: Thank you.