Victim 186
date of testimony: January 22th 2018
location of testimony: Lansing, Michigan
statement read by court official Ms Povilaitis
Your Honor, before beginning with my impact statement I would like to address the survivors who have courageously stood at this podium and shared their stories. You have inspired me to contribute, participate, and share my statement. Thank you.
Your Honor, I would also like to take this moment to thank you for giving us the opportunity to address the court and the defendant.
For the past year since finding out about Larry Nassar and his, quote, questionable procedure, I have felt disgusted, foolish, betrayed, and heartbroken.
Disgusted, because Larry preyed upon young, beautiful, talented, and helpless girls who were in pain and sought healing. Larry used his position of power to sexually abuse wherever and whenever regardless of who was around. Disgusted because he fooled me and every other survivor with his vile acts. Disgusted because it took over 20 years and over 150 victims before any actions were taken against him.
This past year I have felt foolish because I always wondered why he was touching my vagina when I was seeing him for back pain, and now I know why.
Foolish because I was blinded by a competitive personality to allow just about anything to happen to me so I could be back on the playing field. Foolish because I trusted him. Foolish because for years I was proud to call him my doctor. Foolish because he made me believe he was a friend.
I grew up a Spartan, thought highly of the institution, and was proud to have had the opportunity to represent the green and white on the softball field. That sense of pride is now tainted due to Michigan State’s lack of accountability surrounding Larry Nassar.
As a student athlete I didn’t get to choose my doctors, they were provided to me by the institution. I was referred to Larry Nassar by Michigan State who scheduled my weekly appointments with him for years at Jenison Fieldhouse. I felt betrayed by Michigan State for denying any responsibility and for leaving me to fend for myself against this serial pedophile. I was not only injured playing for this university, I was abused under their watch.
I am heartbroken for all of us, the victims and the families affected by Larry’s actions. I am heartbroken for Larry’s own family and children. I am heartbroken that it took this many victims for it to stop. And, lastly, I am heartbroken that this could have ended 20 years ago if any entities like Michigan State University, the USA Gymnastic Association, and the USOC didn’t cover up, enable, and continue to feed us to Larry.
I agree now is the time for to us begin the healing process. Unfortunately, we all have scars that will remind us of him. However, all he’ll have are bars and never see the light of day because of us.
Thank you again, Your Honor. Anonymous victim number 186.
THE COURT: Thank you. She was never foolish. Defendant was foolish to think he could get away with this for so long, these illegal acts, especially against strong athletes. They found their voice and hers is one of them. Thank you for me.
