date of testimony: January 18th 2018
location of testimony: Lansing, Michigan
age at first abuse: 11
age at hearing: 16
Most of you may know me as Jane B1 Doe. My name is Arianna Guerrero. I am 16 years old and still battling with myself to finish off my junior and senior year of high school gymnastics.
I was a gymnast at Twistars for seven years until I suffered a major back injury that I wasn’t treated for properly, and because of that, I had to end my club gymnastics journey. I went from winning state titles to watching my teammates win them without me.
As I sit here today I am still suffering back pain, and being a junior in high school I should be signing for a scholarship, but Larry Nassar took that away from me. He took my dream. He abused his power and it set me behind. How selfish is he?
I am a gymnast at Grand Ledge High School now but we still do over half of our training at Twistars. I walk into Twistars five days a week and relive the pain. I see the back office every day where it all started. I walk into the locker room and just remember being treated in there at the Twistars invitational meet every year.
You, Larry, turned the sport I love into something I hate, but why would I give up now? To let you win? Look at how many people you have here that have been affected for years. Look at how many people are here today and all week. Not only did you hurt me but you hurt my family and my teammates and that is why I hate you so much.
I get on social media, the same social media that you followed me on and liked the pictures of me and my friends in swimsuits, leotards and any other posts. You were my friend, my doctor, someone I thought cared about me. You gave me nice presents that I still have. This is an all access pass to the CoverGirl Classic that my favorite gymnasts, Nastia Lukin, Alicia Sacramone, and Chellsie Memmel have signed.
You always told me how pretty I was. You said I should quit gymnastics to be a model and how I had a good structure, not compliments I should ever receive as an 11 year old. You were my friend until I was 14, almost 15 years old. That is only a little over a year ago. I’m only 16. I should not even know what a victim impact statement is or what the inside of a courtroom looks like, let alone writing my own and reading it to you now.
You seem to have a hard time looking at me now but you didn’t when I was half naked on your table. What kind of doctor can tell a 13 year old they’re done growing by the size of my pubic bone? What kind of doctor can tell an 11 year old patient that I don’t have to call the office to see him, I can message him on social media?
You need to face us all. You took our voices for years and now we are going to take yours. You are a coward.
My whole news feed is stories about Larry Nassar, used to be known as a gymnastics God, now you are known as a child predator, the worst kind.
If I see anyone with an MSU shirt or hoodie, I get sick. This could have stopped decades ago but you kept doing it and never got caught. It is absolutely sickening.
I used to fake my periods so you didn’t penetrate me any more than you did. You have caused me pain as a little girl and teenager that not one girl should ever have to feel. I have depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts. I have PTSD so bad that I am no longer able to be a normal kid and student.
When I go to school I don’t sit in a classroom full of kids. I sit in a classroom alone and do my classes online because being close to any other male that I don’t know gives me a panic attack. I am so paranoid that there is someone else out there like you, someone that will try to get me and come for me. I can’t even go to the store or gas station without being scared.
I have been to three counselors because of this. It’s hard telling someone about the pain you caused me that hasn’t happened to them.
I didn’t want to tell anyone what you actually did to me. Not my dad, because I knew it would hurt him. Not the police, because for so long people defended you. I was scared, but I’m not scared of you any more, Larry.
I have a competition tomorrow and while I should be in school doing my schoolwork or training, I’m sitting in a courtroom with you. I am still a child and I have to live with this pain for the rest of my life. You abused me for years.
I recently broke my foot on beam and I wake up every day and thank God I don’t have to see you for this injury, because last time I had an ankle injury you still found a way to prey on me and manipulate me. Somehow you found it appropriate to adjust my spine and bend me over for an ankle injury.
I hope you get to feel this pain for the rest of your life. I hope someone does to you what you did to us for the rest of your life. You did it to 150 of us that we know about. I genuinely hope you get what you deserve.
It was the biggest slap in the face hearing you say you want us to heal. You did this to us. You caused me and many other girls trauma. You and the people that employed you are the ones that caused this damage to us, and because of you, the gymnastics world will never be the same.
You said you don’t know if you can mentally face us, but look what I have to mentally face for the rest of my life.
I know these are questions that only you can answer, so why would you do this? Why would you abuse your power? Why would you hurt so many innocent girls when you were so well trusted and well known? You had the chance to be the best and you abused us. Why? Why did you make me hate the one thing I loved so much? Why did you take my dreams away from me? Why did you make it where I can’t trust my own doctors? You knew what you were doing and you still did it. Why? Why did you do it for so long? Why did you cover it up? It was a skeleton in your closet but you hid it. Why? Why should we forgive you, Larry? Why should God forgive you?
THE COURT: Thank you. You are not 16. You are much wiser than 16. I loved your why questions. They echoed in your sister survivor questions. There isn’t a victim in front of me who hasn’t wondered why as well. I’m sorry I can’t answer it. I don’t know that anyone can, and certainly this defendant can’t. I’m not sure he’s fully accepted what he’s done.
MS. GUERRERO: I don’t think he ever will.
THE COURT: I agree with you. I am proud of you for finding your voice, strong, loud, adult in sisterhood with your survivors in taking away his.
I know you feel pain. All of the survivors have told me they feel the same pain. I’m hoping that today you can start healing, and you are continuing into gymnastics, right?
MS. GUERRERO: Um-hum.
THE COURT: Doing it the right way?
MS. GUERRERO: Yeah.
THE COURT: Yeah. So I’m hoping that you will replace this pain that you feel from this monster with pleasure of winning, of being part of a real team without him. You, like so many, have talked about suicide, and I don’t know who’s heard me and who hasn’t, but, again, I can’t say it enough, suicide is not an answer for anybody and certainly not for any of you, because he wins then. You are a winner. Don’t make him win by leaving us, please. Can you make me that promise?
MS. GUERRERO: Yes, Your Honor.
THE COURT: You are beautiful inside and out. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Don’t feel different. He hasn’t changed you for the worst. He’s made you stronger, stronger, more vicious, a fighter, a voice for all. Thank you.
MS. GUERRERO: Thank you.