Lindsey Lemke

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date of testimony: January 18th 2018
location of testimony: Lansing, Michigan
age at first abuse: 10
age at hearing: 22

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First want to start out by saying how proud I am of every single person in this room and everywhere that have used their voice to speak their stories not only this week but for the last year and a half.

You all deserve all the love and support that there is to give. You are worthy, and you are all worth so much more than this one man has made you feel for the past however many years.

You are all an inspiration to me, and without all of you, I wouldn’t be standing up here speaking right now

I would also like to thank you, Your Honor, for if it wasn’t for you, your patience and willingness to let us as survivors come up here to talk, all of these girls would not have been able to use their voice and finally realize that they do indeed have one. You have provided so much comfort and love to us this week, and I personally can say that I am forever grateful for that.

I would now like to address the defendant, if that’s okay?

Today I am speaking to you as my ten year old self on behalf of her, so I hope that is who you picture standing up here looking at you right now. I have my arm wrapped around her as I will be the voice to you that I needed to hear 12 years ago. Today I get to see what my life will be like without you for the first time in 12 years. Today I will finally be free.

Larry, to me you are the worst type of person, someone who takes advantage, someone who belittles, someone who controls, someone who took away trust, childhoods, happiness, innocence, and someone who even took lives of others.

I was abused so many times that I can’t even remember when the first time was. I just know that I was only ten years old. Because you probably don’t remember, this was me when you slowly but surely piece by piece started to take advantage of me and piece by piece took my childhood away.

I had always been mature for my age but never ready for something of this nature. In fact, no one is at any age for what you did to all of us. Well, here I am, Larry. I am 22 years old now, and I have had to put myself back together from you breaking me piece by piece. I did that, even after what you thought you did to me, even after — even though you thought you had the power over me.

In case you were wondering, I was forced to quit gymnastics in October due to my back pain. I was forced. I wonder every day if you caused my back pain to be worse with your treatments so that way I had to return to your basement — your basement — every single Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday night for years.

However, I am overjoyed to tell you how much I have prospered since you last abused me. I have competed for two D1 universities. I have maintained a 3.4 GPA. I have made the Big Ten academic honor roll. I was named team captain for my senior year by my teammates. I will be working for the Chicago Cubs on an internship for event coordinating. I was selected to be on the MSU Student Athlete Academic Council, and, most importantly, in December of 2018 I will graduate with my degree in hospitality business where MSU has the number two ranked hospitality business school in the nation. You did not slow me down. You motivated me to push forward full force without you.

Today I speak to you because us women, we are stronger than you thought we ever were. We control you. We together will rise while you fall. And we will not stop fighting until you are less than that of what you made us feel for years.

You sit up here and shake your head back and forth and you look confused because you still don’t believe what you did to all of us was wrong, and that’s the worst part. You abused us and you don’t even remember. That’s sickening.

Well, good thing you have a lifetime in prison to figure it out; that is, even if you make it through, because I don’t think you will.

Larry, I want you to know that last night as I was writing my statement I had an affirmation pop up on my phone that read, never let someone with the significance of a speed bump become a road block in your life, so while you are praying the rosary for forgiveness, it is clear that God has my back and he is on my side, not yours.

I will now like to address all of the people who made this monster possible, if that’s okay?

To John Geddert. Since you are too much of a coward to be here in court today and this week, I hope you are watching and listening to me right now. You and Larry carry a lot of the same characteristics. That’s funny. You are a disgrace. You coached us, your athletes, who paid you thousands and thousands of dollars, by fear, to control us and to purposely scare us. Well, John, you are now the one who has failed, not us. There has been no one to stand up to you until now.

You not being in court this week has showed us that we as your athletes, who went through your prison that you call an award winning gym, were nothing to you but a dollar sign. You not being present this week finally shows that you are the one who is scared, not me, because I finally am no longer afraid.

My teammates and I spent way too many days as innocent children shaking, crying, trembling, some even trying to take their own lives because of you, and the sad part is, you don’t even know that because you could care less about us as people as opposed to athletes who were your money makers.

Well, similar to what others have told Larry, I will say to you, those little girls that you treated like objects and things are all grown up now and are here to bring you hell. You talk about an award winning gym? Well, on behalf of every athlete you’ve ever coached and abused, you are welcome for your award winning gym that without us girls that put up with your crap for so many years you wouldn’t even have.

I hope your throat burns when you swallow those words, award winning gym, for you’re not worthy of that. You are nothing to me. You did nothing good for me. You belittled, berated, and abused, and took advantage of me. You brainwashed me and so did Larry. I couldn’t speak up for myself because I was seen as disrespectful. I didn’t have a voice, but now I do, so I hope you are ready.

What a great best friend John was to Larry for giving him an entire world where he was able to abuse so easily. You two sure do have a funny meaning in friendship. You, John Geddert, also deserve to sit behind bars right next to Larry.

To USAG who I don’t think is here today unfortunately, I wish they were, but I’m just going to be blunt and start by calling you out for paying millions of athletes millions of dollar to stay quiet about Larry Nassar. Thank you for proving to us why you’re responsible and need to be held accountable.

Steve Penny, you are a coward. Resigning from your position to give responsibility to someone else for creating the environment to let this monster thrive.

You, as in USAG, came to court this week I’m assuming because you feltlike you had to not because you wanted to. You hid in that back corner hoping no one would see you or recognize you. Well, I hope the way you feel right now, the way you are hiding, being evasive, being cowards sits with you heavy because that’s how we women feel and have felt for the past 20 plus years; scared of the public and scared to speak up, just like you are right now. Well, you better learn to step it up and stop feeling sorry for yourselves, because for all the women that have been able to speak and share their stories, we are the survivors, and I’m here to tell you that we don’t feel sorry for ourselves anymore because we are working on healing, so, no, you don’t deserve to feel sorry for yourselves.

 I see USAG being praised on social media for their new focus to assure safety for their athletes. You’re already being praised for only talking about what you’re going to do. That’s disgusting, and what a slap in the face to us for the past however many years, whoever it may be, that they have not even taken action yet and they’re already being praised. When you personally reach out to each and every survivor and make it up to every girl and their families, which will never be able to happen, that’s maybe when the 100 plus women and I will be able to forgive you, but I don’t see that as a possibility. We went through this for years, so I hope that you are ready to spend decades trying to make up for what you have done.

 And, lastly, Michigan State University. Shame on you. I went public about my story back in January of 2016, and let me tell you, I was terrified. I was terrified because of what you would do to me.

As a full ride athletic scholarship athlete on the gymnastics team, I was worried about my consequences and what they would be if you realized who I was and went public about my story. How messed up is that? You created the type of environment where victims were afraid to speak up. Little did I know you did this for years. I was afraid my scholarship would be taken that I worked so, so hard for. The scholarship that I went through years of abuse by multiple people to get.

To Kathie Klages, I am so disgusted by you. Women who came up to you in 1997 and you told them that they would have consequences for speaking out about Larry just the same as you told me 19 years later that Larry would have negativity brought to his name if I were to speak about my story. Those women waited 19 years for you to get what you deserve because you silenced them for those 19 years.

When the news broke about Larry from the IndyStar, you wanted your athletes to sign a card to tell this abuser and monster that we were thinking of him and praying for him. We also were brought into a room together and we were told by somebody on staff that we were not allowed to speak of the situation.

You deserve to lose your job. You deserve what is coming, and we deserve to be victorious. You also belong with John and Larry behind bars, because you knew what he was doing and you still chose to defend him. You are also a coward.

I am almost done, I promise.

To Lou Anna Simon. I don’t even know how you are still in the position you are in. I don’t know how you can still call yourself a president, because — I don’t know anymore. You are no president of mine as a student and former athlete of Michigan State University.

Guess what? You’re a coward, too. You say you aren’t responsible for this. I wish you would come up to this podium and be half as brave as all of us have had to be the past year and a half, to be brave enough to be a public survivor and a competing athlete of your university who let me down. To be brave enough to come up here and confidently tell us the reasons why you don’t think that you’re responsible.

I love gymnastics so much. I — I love gymnastics. I still wore a Michigan State University leotard for an entire season to compete for your school while you sat back and denied these accusations and basically called me a liar. Well, I’m here to tell you, Lou Anna Simon, Larry, John Geddert, and Kathie Klages, I had the best and most rewarding year of competition of 17 years of gymnastics. None of you saw me. I won and I defeated all of you. You, Lou Anna, will never be half the person I have become or as all of these women who have had to deal with Larry Nassar. You will never be as strong and you will never be as brave.

Instead, you come to court and sit in the back row after being called out on social media for not being here. When put in front of the cameras, you show no emotion. You have no answers. When asked to be here for a survivor statement today, you stated that you are too busy to fit it in your schedule.

Well, Lou Anna Simon, I can assure you none of us had the time in our schedules for the past 20 years for Larry Nassar to abuse us, but we had no choice. Neither did we have the time in our schedule for therapy, tears, stress, anxiety, panic attacks, sleepless nights, guilt, or, for some, self harm.

But we did anyways, because of you and the others who let Larry into our world.

Your broad spectrum of emails that are sent to everyone, not specific survivors, that states that you are sorry and working to fix this, please stop and save yourself the pity party. Does that seriously make you feel better? We don’t care. It’s too late for your sorrys and trying to make sure that we are safe. You act innocent. You are hardly a president of any kind, especially of the university in which I still attend, and, frankly, I am proud to attend because I am too big of a person to let your small-minded selves ruin my college experience.

You are trying to manipulate people into thinking that you are innocent when you are not. As far as I’m concerned, you are just as bad as this monster that has attempted to ruin all of us, but he hasn’t and you won’t either.

Larry, I hope you, Lou Anna Simon, Kathie Klages, John Geddert, and all of USAG are scared because you have pissed off the wrong army of women.

Thank you.

I told myself I wasn’t going to cry and then…

THE COURT: That’s okay. They’re good tears this time. I know you shed a lot of other kind of tears, but those are good tears. Powerful tears. You know, I served in the military for 20 years, and the army of women who have come before me, I would be proud to fight any battle with you as my leader.

You are safe now. I’m so proud of you and your voice. I give every victim in my courtroom, survivor, an opportunity to speak but I have never heard such a mass of strong women speak their mind in such a powerful way, because what you’re saying is going to make change, and I’m like you, I think what you need is what I always demand of the lawyers, is evidence, and you are not bought and the other survivors are not bought by cheap words and promises of change. I know that collectively you are all taller than the tallest monument on the planet, and you are stronger as well, and you will make sure that there is a better world of sports for all women, and you want that evidence.

The survivors are all victorious and your words are those of victory. I don’t know if you all feel it now, but you will. And you are so strong and wonderful.

Thank you so much for being here, for your words, for letting me know how you feel and how to consider everything at sentencing. It’s so very important. It’s part of the evidence that I need, and I hope that you and your sister survivors continue to seek and demand that evidence from all of those agencies and sports personnel that disappointed all of you and allowed this crime to continue for so many decades. I couldn’t be prouder of you. Thank you.

MS. LEMKE: Thank you.